What Do You Mean

I Don’t Understand

“What do you mean?” and” I don’t understand “… As a caregiver for a person living with Alzheimer’s, these phrases can be frustrating. Something that seems simple to us, such as, saying ” Let’s go this way”, then just walking away …..Can make the PLWA feel abandoned and frustrated. The words must sound more like Whant, Whant, Whant and Blah, Blah, Blah than an actual request or suggestion. Instead of just saying something to them, take the person by the hand or make a forwarding gesture as you say “Let’s go this way”.

What about after your sixth try to assist your loved one to the restroom. You finally get them to the restroom, give their pants a tug and say “Ok, now pull your pants down”. Just for them to look at you like you are crazy and cling to their pants with clenched fists. They probably feel vulnerable and afraid which may lead to anger. This anger may lead to aggression. Wow…… this situation just got bad in a hurry. But why? You have a request and made a simple gesture…Think about the intimacy involved in using the restroom and the trust the PLWA has to have with the person assisting them. Does their reaction make sense now? Use step by step instructions with non-invasive gestures. Take your cues from them….. They will let you assist them when they feel comfortable and safe with you.

It takes lots of patience.

It takes patience, lots of patience. Sometimes it will be a success and sometimes it won’t. Trial and error…… Keep trying. What works today may not work tomorrow. Remember, you are not the only struggling caregiver. With support from others like us. You can hold our caregiving head up high and say, “I Can Do This!!!!”

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